using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize