Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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