Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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