did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
