If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
