What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
