But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
