You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The air was thick with penises
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
