the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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