Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
