I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
