There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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