Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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