He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
