i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
