return my video game
actually, I'm a sock model
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
