No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
