There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
