Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
