Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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