he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize
