i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
