tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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