can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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