Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
