It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
