No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
