my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
