they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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