apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
