Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I should be sponsored by Trojan
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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