Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
