i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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