I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
