my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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