If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
