i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
