I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
God I need to hump something, right now.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
