I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
