The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
nutella sex= disaster
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
