This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
