I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
