Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
they need to just BURY HIM!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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