Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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