btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
