Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
