I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
