Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
