You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize