Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she smelled like a LAN party
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
