I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
