I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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