At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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