Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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