420 ftw
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
