But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I looked at my own cervix.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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