hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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