I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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