becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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