It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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