Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
