You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
