On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
