Are we in a gay sports bar?
are you so shy because you have an std?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
